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Grieving someone close: the first weeks

Small, gentle steps for the first weeks. There is no right way to grieve, and you do not have to do it alone.

24 items · 6 sections · wellbeing, mental-health, grief, crisis

Start this checklist

Get help now (3)

  • Thoughts of ending your life? Please reach out nowUS: call or text 988. India: Tele-MANAS 14416 or 1-800-891-4416. UK and Ireland: Samaritans 116 123.Open
  • In immediate danger? Call your emergency number
  • Tell one person how hard it is today

Know that this is normal (5)

  • Feeling numb or in a daze, especially at first
  • Waves of sadness, and lots of crying, or none
  • Being very tired
  • Anger or guilt, including about things left unsaid
  • Feelings that come in no set order

Look after the basics (5)

  • Eat something at regular times, even if small
  • Go for a short walk or get some fresh air today
  • Keep a simple bedtime, even if sleep is poor
  • Go easy on alcohol, cigarettes, gambling and drugsThey can make things harder later.
  • Set one small goal a day. That is enough

Let people help (4)

  • Tell a friend or relative what you need
  • Say yes when someone offers food, lifts or company
  • Ask one person to handle phone calls and messages
  • Find a bereavement group or peer supportUK: Cruse Bereavement Support. Elsewhere, ask your doctor or local hospital.

Practical things, when you can (4)

  • Ask someone to go with you to do the paperwork
  • Keep a list of what needs doing, and do one at a time
  • Leave big decisions for later, if you can
  • Ask for time off, or a slower return to work

Talk to a doctor if (3)

  • Low mood lasts more than 2 weeks, or self-help isn't working
  • You are struggling with stress or anxiety
  • Months on, sadness or guilt is not easing, or you can't return to daily lifeSupport helps. Asking for it is not a failure.

Written from www.nhs.uk

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