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Helping a friend who says they want to die

You don't need the perfect words. Stay close, ask gently, listen, and bring in help. You don't have to carry this alone.

23 items · 5 sections · wellbeing, mental-health, crisis, suicide

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Get help now (5)

  • In danger right now? Call your emergency number and stay with them911 US, 999 UK, 112 India and EU.
  • US: call or text 988, any timeYou can call for your friend too, and ask what to do.
  • India: call Tele-MANAS on 14416 or 1-800-891-4416
  • UK and Ireland: call Samaritans on 116 123
  • Anywhere else: find a helpline in your countryOpen

Be with them (8)

  • Thank them for telling you
  • Stay with them, or stay on the phone, while they feel unsafe
  • Ask directly: "Are you thinking about suicide?"Asking gently does not put the idea in their head. It can bring relief.
  • Stay calm, and try not to look shocked
  • Listen more than you talk
  • Accept what they feel, without judging or debating it
  • Say that you care, and that you are glad they are here
  • Don't lecture, or say others have it worse

Help keep them safe (3)

  • Ask if they have a plan, and if so call a helpline togetherThis helps helpers know how urgent things are.
  • Help put distance from anything they could use to hurt themselves
  • Never promise to keep it secretSay: "I care too much to keep this to myself."

Help them connect (4)

  • Offer to call or text a helpline with them
  • Ask who else they trust, and offer to reach out to them
  • Offer to go with them to a doctor or counsellor
  • Work out one or two people or places they can turn to on a bad night

Afterwards (3)

  • Check in tomorrow, and again over the following days
  • Keep inviting them to ordinary things
  • Look after yourself tooThis is heavy. Talk to someone you trust. Helplines are there for you too.

Written from 988lifeline.org

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