Leaving an abusive relationship: staying safe

Confidential helplines first, then careful steps at your own pace. What is happening is not your fault.

27 items · 5 sections · wellbeing, crisis, abuse, safety

Get help now (7)

In immediate danger: call your emergency number911 US, 999 UK, 112 India and EU.
US: National Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-7233, or text START to 88788Open
India: Women Helpline 181
UK: Refuge National Domestic Abuse Helpline 0808 2000 247, free, day or nightOpen
UK men: Men's Advice Line 0808 8010 327. LGBT+: Galop 0800 999 5428
Anywhere else: find a helpline in your countryOpen
Thoughts of ending your life? US: 988. India: Tele-MANAS 14416 or 1-800-891-4416

Is this device safe? If unsure, use a friend's phone, work or a librarySomeone may be able to see what you do on a shared device. Use one they cannot reach.
Take your time before changing settingsSudden changes can be noticed. Your safety comes first.
Private browsing hides this only on the device itselfSearch engines and accounts can still keep a record.
Save any evidence before you delete anything

Talk to an advocate before you leaveThey can help you make a plan for your situation.
Be careful who you tell, and keep where you are going private
Choose one or two people you trust, and a code word for "I need help"
Think through where you could go, and how you would get there
Ask an advocate about safe housing, children and pets

Keep copies of IDs, birth certificates and bank papers somewhere safeWith a trusted person, if you can.
Medicines and prescriptions
Some money, and a card or account in your own name
Spare keys, a phone charger and a few clothes
Children's documents and a favourite comfort item
A note of what has happened, with dates, kept away from home

Turn off location sharing and check for tracking, when it is safePhones, watches, cars and small trackers can all share location.
Change email and bank passwords, and turn on two-step sign-in
Tell school or work who may not collect children or get your details
Ask about a protection orderAn advocate or lawyer can explain how it works where you live.
Keep talking to someone. Leaving can take many tries, and that is okay