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Worried about a parent’s memory: first steps

Notice what is changing, talk gently, and book a doctor’s visit together.

23 items · 5 sections · family, health, wellbeing, mental-health

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Notice what is changing (4)

  • Write down what you see: dates, examples and how often
  • Notice repeated questions, getting lost, missed bills or trouble with usual tasks
  • Remember that forgetting keys sometimes is normal
  • Think about other causes: stress, poor sleep, medicines, infections, low mood, hearing or sight loss

Talk with them (5)

  • Choose a calm, private moment and start gently
  • Say what you have noticed and that you care, not that something is wrong with them
  • Listen to how they feel without arguing or correcting
  • Suggest a check-up for the whole body, not only for memory
  • Be patient: they may be frightened or may not agree at first

See a doctor (5)

  • Book a visit with their family doctor
  • Go with them if they agree
  • Take your notes, a list of all their medicines and past illnesses
  • Ask about tests for memory, blood, hearing and sight
  • Ask what the next steps are and when to come back

Support at home (4)

  • Keep a regular routine for meals, sleep and medicines
  • Use a calendar, notes and pill boxes
  • Keep their home safe: stove, stairs, locks
  • Keep them active and in touch with people

Look after yourself (5)

  • Share the load with other family members
  • Talk to someone you trust
  • Find a local carers’ group or an Alzheimer’s society helpline
  • If you feel overwhelmed or hopeless, call or text 988 in the US, Tele-MANAS 14416 in India, or find a helpline at https://findahelpline.comYou do not have to manage this alone.
  • Plan ahead for money, legal papers and care while they can still help decide

Written from www.nhs.uk

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